she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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