when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
