One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's get the cat blown out
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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