I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
