During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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