how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
