Dual....:-)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
