you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
