I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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