therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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