Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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