I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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