I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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