I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
