Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just pynch a tree in the face
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
