there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
