i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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