i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
