im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
