with your own penis?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
