we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
