??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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