never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
