About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
