South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
