i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
