fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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