he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize