I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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