the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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