we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
