i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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