Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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