Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
