Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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