You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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