Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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