you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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