YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dick very happy bro
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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