I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
