his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
