Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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