if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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