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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
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