was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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