so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
