I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
