Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This toilet bowl is my home.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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