i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
