Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
