i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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